How to Get Someone to Stop Drinking

Figuring out how to get someone to stop drinking is not as easy as some make it out to be. If you’ve got a friend or family member that you’re concerned about when it comes to drinking, chances are you want them to stop, but you’re just not sure how to approach the situation. Or maybe you’ve already had a conversation with them to no avail.

The truth is that addressing someone’s drinking problem can be tricky. If the person does not want to stop drinking, saying they enjoys it and sees no problem with it, you can’t force them to change.

Dependence on Alcohol

If your loved one is drinking more than you feel he should, or you have no doubt he is an alcoholic, chances are they’ve become dependent on alcohol. After all, alcohol is addictive. The more someone drinks it, the more likely they have become dependent on it or addicted to it. They may not realize this has occurred, so knowing this before you sit down to have a conversation is a good idea.

How to Get a Loved One to Stop Drinking

If you’re truly wondering how to get someone to stop drinking, know that you’re not alone. There are millions of alcoholics out there, some low functioning, and some high functioning. They all have family members and friends who wish they would stop drinking, too.

Here are some tips on how you can best support a loved one to stop drinking:

Have a Conversation

Prepare yourself to have an honest and open conversation with your loved one about your concerns. Schedule a time that is convenient for the both of you and do your best to make it at a time when your loved one will be sober. Trying to speak sense into someone who is buzzed pretty good or drunk is not easy.

Be Kind and Compassionate

It is important that when you sit and have a conversation with your loved one that you don’t come across angry or judgmental. This may be challenging, especially if your loved one has lied to you or acted out in some other way. Still, when you can share your concerns in a kind and compassionate way, they will be more likely to take what you’re saying to heart, rather than put up defensive walls immediately. It’s like someone pointing their finger in someone’s face and scolding them – the other person is likely to immediately go into defensive mode, get angry, and maybe lash out or get up and walk away. Therefore, a calm and collected mood matters.

Keep in Mind That Alcohol Isn’t the Root Problem

Your loved one may drink, but underneath that drinking are usually some other issues going on that trigger the drinking. Sure, they may be dependent on the booze, but why did they start over-drinking in the first place? What’s going on in their life? Did they deal with something tragic or some sort of trauma? Don’t be afraid to ask questions and allow them to open up about what may be going on under the surface.

Have Some Treatment Options Handy

If you believe your loved one would benefit from an alcohol detox or treatment center, perhaps you can have some options available to give to him. You don’t have to flat out tell him he needs to go, but you could leave him with a paper that has pertinent information in case he decides he needs some help to stop drinking. You can also include support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous or SMART Recovery.

Attend an Al-Anon Meeting

One thing you can do to best support your loved one and take care of yourself is to attend an Al-Anon or Codependents Anonymous meeting. There you can share with other men and women who have loved ones struggling with alcoholism or drinking too much. It’s a safe place to share your concerns and frustrations and encourage others as well. This may not help your loved one stop drinking, but it can help you not go insane dealing with all the things that go along with a family member or friend’s addiction issues.

Recommend an Addiction Specialist

Along with leaving your loved one some information about an alcohol treatment center, you can also refer them to an addiction specialist. Sometimes going to a series of therapy sessions can help someone understand things from a different perspective.

Accepting Your Powerlessness

Surely, you want to help someone to stop drinking, but the reality is that you’re powerless over another person’s actions. No matter how bad you want your loved one to stop, you simply cannot force him/her to quit. You can, however, learn how to best support your loved one by following these tips and learning more about the topic.

It’s not always easy to know how to best help someone quit drinking, but educating yourself is a good start. Once you’ve had a conversation with your loved one, go on showing them unconditional love while they navigates their life. They may not be ready to quit, but they still need people in their life that will befriend them and hold space for them until he figures it out. And, if you find it challenging, be sure to reach out for support for yourself. There are others in the same shoes and professionals that can assist you in taking care of yourself and being there for your loved one without enabling him.

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Medical disclaimer:

Sunshine Behavioral Health strives to help people who are facing substance use disorder, addiction, mental health disorders, or a combination of these conditions. It does this by providing compassionate care and evidence-based content that addresses health, treatment, and recovery.

Licensed medical professionals review material we publish on our site. The material is not a substitute for qualified medical diagnoses, treatment, or advice. It should not be used to replace the suggestions of your personal physician or other health care professionals.