Recovery is all about making amends. Most importantly, you must make amends with yourself. Without self-forgiveness, recovery is impossible.

Many people have co-morbid disorders that impact their lives negatively, and at times, they don’t even know it. Reaching for negative coping strategies, whether there’s an underlying mental difficulty, is a totally human response. Whether co-morbidity is the case or not, blaming yourself for choosing to use alcohol, choosing to use drugs, and ultimately, choosing to abuse yourself is a natural response to pain and suffering. Remind yourself that you’ve now chosen to choose life, above all else, and you deserve all the praise in the world for it. You shouldn’t beat yourself up for succumbing to substance use disorder, because so many have. You’re far from alone.

Drinkers can be people of any shape, size, gender, ethnicity. Not every alcoholic is a homeless person in the gutter. Some truly powerful people, high-functioning have been addicts. It doesn’t take the most negative person in the world or the absolute lowest experience to start the recovery process.

No matter who we are, we likely hold ourselves to high standards. If we were as hard on other people as we are on ourselves, we’d have endless conflict in our relationships, with family and friends. But we talk to ourselves with negativity and harsh judgment. Taking a step back and viewing the situation – and learning that negative situations in life can be viewed as a learning experience – is crucial to a successful recovery.

Being vulnerable is difficult. But you aren’t the person you were last year, 5 years ago, or even last week. With each passing day we learn something new about ourselves, whether we like it or not. Perhaps that means we use new strategies to move forward. Hindsight is 20/20 – just because we know better now doesn’t mean we have to beat ourselves up for not knowing better in the past.

Stay tuned for more about forgiveness and making amends in recovery.