Blame is a complex process. By blaming ourselves, we’re beating ourselves up over real or imaginary infractions. But even if we’re blaming others, we’re really still highlighting our own issues. While blaming others may appear to involve others, we’re really still focusing on ourselves.
It seems as if kids are quick to blame others when things go wrong. (Are we blaming kids for blaming others in a blog post about blame? Maybe.) Maybe that’s because other people seems like the easy solution. It seems to shift the guilt and possible repercussions onto other people.
But even as kids, we know that blaming others for our own problems isn’t the solution. It may temporarily keep us out of trouble – such as punishment from our parents or the principal – but often, the trouble remains. We haven’t addressed why the problem occurred in the first place. We haven’t taken any positive steps to solved the problem we blamed on others. We haven’t done anything to prevent the problem from happening again in the future.
This lack of resolution weighs on our consciences. Some people use alcohol or drugs or engage in certain behaviors to soothe their guilty consciences. Again, these solutions are temporary. They don’t address the core issues of why people do what they do. They address more superficial problems and don’t address the complex mental problems that often create such problems.
What’s more, abusing alcohol drugs can cause people to blame others for their actions. It could cause people to blame the alcohol and drugs instead of the underlying issues that prompted them to abuse such substances in the first place.
Blame is not constructive. It shifts our attention on people, situations, or even substances instead of examining the real problems and real causes of those problems. It creates problems instead of solving them. Isn’t it better to do some work to eliminate such blame and other negativity from our lives?
