“You know how they say that religion is the opiate of the masses? Well, I took masses of opiates religiously.”

Those are the words of the witty, inimitable Carrie Fisher, who passed away on December 27th, after a massive heart attack. You can’t count many people don’t vividly remember the fearless Princess Leia, starring in George Lucas’ timeless Star Wars, and the comedian who openly talked about her bipolar disorder, as well as drug and alcohol abuse—a totally beloved spokesperson of the mental health community. Her openness has inspired many to be more transparent with their mental health problems.

Growing up with Debbie Reynolds, the famous actress of “Singin’ in the Rain” fame, Carrie Fisher had a difficult time as the daughter of two celebrities. A difficult time, but also, a very fun one. A tumultuous relationship with her mother would later develop into a famous friendship. Fisher became accustomed to drugs and alcohol at a very young age. She tried marijuana at 13 and by 21 she was taking cocaine and acid on a regular basis.

“I used to refer to my drug use as putting the monster in the box. I wanted to be less, so I took more, simple as that.”

Carrie said that she noticed her symptoms of bipolar disorder as soon as she was 14 or 15, but it wasn’t until she was 24 that she would be diagnosed. She more-or-less ignored the diagnosis, and continued to use unrelentingly until she was 28, and after an overdose she went to rehab. It was there she realized that she had been self-medicating, or using drugs and alcohol to quell her symptoms of depression and the intensity of mania.

“But ultimately you could say that I don’t have a problem with drugs so much as I have a problem with sobriety. And it wasn’t Alcoholics Anonymous that failed me, it’s that I have, on occasions, failed them by not working what they call a good program. But I keep going back.”

Carrie kept returning to recovery, returning to self-reflection, sharing all she had to give, until she could share no more.