When people complete rehab, they sometimes discover that they have to build new lives for themselves. These lives can involve building a new social circle. Recovering addicts might have to find new friends. The might have to separate themselves from relatives, old friends, and even significant others if these people don’t support their decisions not to be dependent on drugs and alcohol.
These newly sober people should be a little cautious when starting new romantic relationships. The beginnings of new relationships bring intense emotions and physical sensations. People recovering from substance use disorder often are already dealing with intense emotions and sensations due to their withdrawal from drugs and alcohol. The rush of a new relationship just adds to the intensity.
But some former addicts might seek out new relationships to experience this rush. They might also seek relationships because they’re having trouble. They might seek out people to handle their problems. The former addicts might not be dependent on drugs and alcohol anymore, but they are dependent on their partners. They create codependent relationships.
Codependency doesn’t work. For one, it takes advantage of the other partners. It means that the relationship isn’t about the give and take between two people. It’s about one person who just takes and another person who just gives.
Partners should support each other. They shouldn’t depend on their partners to do everything for them. Independence can help each partner maintain his or her self-worth and identity. Independence just makes for an overall better dynamic within the relationship.
Avoiding dependency makes sense for another reason: relationships end. If people are accustomed to giving all of the time or taking all of the time, they might feel lost if their relationships end. They might jump into other unhealthy relationships without taking the time to solve their own problems.
As unhealthy as codependency is, it doesn’t have to be permanent. Therapy and other treatments can help treat codependency and drug and alcohol abuse.
