We don’t know someone until we walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, according to that old phrase.

This phrase is partially true with addiction. We don’t exactly know what it’s like to abuse drugs or alcohol unless we’ve done those things ourselves.

But that doesn’t mean that addiction can’t hurt us. It doesn’t mean that we’ve been spared from pain. Addiction is painful for the friends and family members of addicts. The loved ones witness the addicts’ pain, which can be extremely painful itself.

If you have addicts in your life, here are some pointers for dealing with them. These tips might make it easier to understand them.

• Try to understand. Alcohol and drug abuse might be totally new to you, but your loved one isn’t. Try to remember what he or she was like before the addiction. Listen to him or her and try to see things his or her way. If he or she knows about your support, it might prompt him or her to seek treatment.
• Build trust. By trying to understand and communicate with your loved one, you can build trust. Physically being there for your loved one and keeping your commitments to him or her can also create trust. Staying with the person can also prevent him or her from using drugs or drinking.
• Respect his or her wishes. Sometimes people struggling with addictions might want to be with you, or sometimes they might want privacy. Respecting their wishes and not forcing your own wishes upon them are other ways you can build trust with them.

Please remember that although addiction is extremely difficult, if an addict wants you in his or her life, it’s a good thing. This probably means that he or she wants some sort of connection with you. If you can keep this connection, it means the addict hasn’t abandoned his or her old life entirely. You can offer support and your help if he or she does choose to seek help.